Procrastination

Well, to probably no one’s surprise, I didn’t accomplish nearly as much as I wanted to during my week off from work. Ultimately that really comes down to procrastination rearing its ugly head again, which has been the bane of my existence for practically all my life. It’s crazy that I know damn well that being proactive will give me a lot less stress than procrastinating, yet something inside of me still feels the need to put things off, just like I did back in my days of homework and school projects. Not only with things I need to do, but even with things that I actively want to do like play a video game or watch an episode of a tv show, I’ll somehow convince myself that I don’t have time to play a game for a couple of hours and then I’ll just mess around on YouTube for a few hours instead, accomplishing even less. It makes no sense, and I know it, but I continue to do it anyway.

This ties into that idea of “keeping busy” again, because having all of this time on my hands for the past week has really brought me back to my school days. I had a couple of really productive days but then I’ve also had plenty of time where I accomplished nothing but wasting time on the internet. Those days are tough for me because in the moment I know I’ll regret accomplishing nothing but then I do it anyway and just feel worse about it afterword. I think it’s all connected to my mental health as well because once I am more where I want to be in life then I know I’ll have a much easier time being productive. So I really just have to suck it up and get everything done so that I can get to that point where it’s easier and I am happier overall.

That being said, I did have a couple of really fun days with some friends and family this past week, so I am definitely still appreciative of that and I will always be grateful for people wasting their free time on me. We also recorded a cool Tarqaron video that I’m excited to edit and post next week. I mentioned in the last blog that I fully intended to film some videos for my solo channel and while I did film one, I was noticeably really sad throughout the whole video and I kind of talked in circles for 15 minutes. So I’ll have to give that one another shot and make some adjustments to my setup before I stockpile any more videos than that.

Regardless, I have a lot of fun ideas and plans in the pipeline for both YouTube channels, so I really appreciate anyone who cares to check them out. I’d also like to come up with more interesting things to talk about for these blogs among other creative projects. While the blog is primarily based on topics of mental health and life in general, I would like to have a little more fun with them as well. Maybe I’ll get a little wacky, you never know. Now that I think of it, I haven’t done any creative writing since college either… Something to think about. Alright, I think I’ve covered all I need to cover for now. But I’ll be back again next week! Gonna try out this new way to top off each week’s blog post, so let me know what you think. I’m thinking I’ll post any videos I posted during each week, as well as any games/music/shows/movies/etc. that I enjoyed as well.