Excited To Move Forward

Over the last few months, I’ve lost friends but I’ve also gained friends. I’ve experienced some of my lowest lows but have also been given a lot of kindness and support. I know I’ve mentioned this before and it makes sense that I inevitably will repeat myself a lot as I move into double digits of blogs now, but I just want to reiterate that this year has given me a newfound appreciation for any small acts of kindness. It’s so easy to take people’s kindness for granted, but once you experience the polar opposite from people in your life it makes you appreciate that kindness much more. So more than ever I find myself taking the time to appreciate whenever anyone extends an olive branch to check in on me, when someone leaves a nice comment or gives me a nice compliment. Not that I didn’t appreciate these things before, but they just mean even more to me now. It’s crazy how even something as insignificant as someone who I haven’t spoken to in ages liking a post of mine can really be uplifting. A simple act of kindness, even just one click to show your support for someone, can go a long way.

All that being said, obviously a highlight for me this week was uploading videos on my solo channel for the first time in over a year. I never intended to take such a long break, and I never really took a break from videos since I was still uploading on Tarqaron through all that time. They were just different videos. And I’ve put so many years and hundreds of videos into my solo channel so it feels weird to have left it inactive for so long. But at the same time I’m excited to be back to it. Though I will have a lot more on my plate since I have to do the work for two channels now instead of one, my goal is to put less pressure on myself for my solo channel. Whereas before I was focused on primarily reaction-based videos and as a result would have lists of videos that I felt like I needed to get done on any given week so that I wouldn’t fall too far behind, I’m trying to have a more lax approach this time around where I can more freely just kind of talk about whatever I want each week without having to check things off. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a ton of things I want to do for the channel, but I’ll just be taking a more laid-back approach, especially considering how much time it requires for me to edit and post for Tarqaron alone. And definitely nothing is set in stone. I said that reactions aren’t my focus anymore and that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that I’m opposed to ever doing them. I’m really just feeling things out and seeing where I want to go with it. It’ll take some time to get used to recording videos in this style again as well, so forgive me if they aren’t the best videos I’ve ever put out.

I’m excited to see where things will go from here because I’m not even sure myself. It is definitely refreshing, between this blog, the two channels, and anything else I work on, to have all of these creative outlets to pour myself into. I keep bringing up this topic of “keeping busy” but it really is true. It will be a challenge to juggle it all with nearly daily posts at this point but I think it will help to keep me sane and I’m game to see where it takes me.