Challenging Myself

It feels a little weird being fully back in the swing of things with my solo channel, but I’m glad to be back at it! It’s been liberating being able to talk about such a wide variety of things through these different outlets and now I can’t imagine it any other way. It is really crazy looking at the list of videos I posted this week across two channels since this is the most output of content I’ve had pretty much ever. So while it is liberating to have these outlets, it’s also taking up a large majority of my free time so it will be challenging in that regard but I’m excited to challenge myself moving forward. I have pretty much a constant queue of videos to edit so it can be overwhelming but I definitely prefer that to having nothing queued up.

I had some really low moments this week where I found myself feeling like I was lost, similar to how I felt in the beginning of the year when I started this blog. I experience some really low lows sometimes, no doubt about it. And unfortunately I’ll probably be feeling lows like that at some point each week for the foreseeable future. But as annoying as it is to keep putting it out there in every blog, I do want to be as transparent as possible. All I can do is work towards a time when I can hopefully have nothing negative to say in at least one of these blogs. I cannot express enough how much I appreciate everyone who continues to be a positive force in my life, and everyone who continues to show me true kindness through both the good and the bad times. It’s thanks to these people that I am able to keep my head above water, along with the joy I get out of making videos/content. I am far from where I want to be, but I’m a lot better off than I could have been had I not had these positive forces in my life.

I feel bad putting out such short blogs, but to be frank my life isn’t actually all that exciting at the moment, so I feel like this is more palatable than going through excruciating detail about the monotony. But these weekly blogs serve as a reminder of where I’m at versus where I want to be, so they give me things to work towards while also being able to express my thought process and check in mentally. So in that way I am definitely grateful to this blog as a very different outlet for me! That being said, although most of my videos are more light-hearted in tone, I definitely have some ideas for more serious/vulnerable topics to go into on video as well, which might be worth exploring in the future. I have a lot of ideas I’m always bouncing in general, so stay tuned!