Oof, I’m rushing to get this blog out in time yet again, but this time I’m outside for it! And what nice weather it is for it, even at 11:30 at night. Ever since I’ve gotten that “active” bug again, I’ve taken pretty much any excuse to go outside that I can get. The only thing stopping me from doing more videos outside is the onslaught of bugs in the particular area I have to do them in. If I could find a local peaceful area that I could set up in real quick to do some nice relaxing videos that would be great. I really just need a place where I can set my laptop and lil tripod and I’ll be set. You might have noticed nothing but Tarqaron videos the past couple of weeks and no videos on my solo channel, and that certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed by me. The reality of the situation is that I already coop myself up for a few hours to do Tarqaron videos on my day off, and since I’m not really able to run air conditioning while doing videos because of the obnoxious background noise, I’d just rather not sweat in a small space for longer than I have to. That’s why outside would be my preferred area for filming videos whenever possible, so that I can at least be out in the fresh air and heat rather than sitting in a small, hot room. So once I iron out these pesky logistics of making videos, I’ll be golden. In the mean time there has been no shortage of videos really, they’ve all just been in the Tarqaron format.

As much as I appreciate the small victories like breathing some fresh air, I continue to struggle with feeling like a failure and having regrets about many aspects of my life. As long as I remain complacent as I have been in many ways, I think I’ll continue to feel this way in one way or another. Complacency can really bog you down, and for someone like me who is most happy when I can express my creativity, complacency is a true killer. The monotonous, uncreative elements of my life wear on me and can be really draining at times. I enjoy the fun little activities and video things I do each week, and being around people I enjoy spending time with, but I feel like I could use a major shake-up in my life to spice things up a bit. There’s a weird paradox where I want to establish more of a routine along with a consistent sleeping schedule, but I also don’t want to be stuck in too much of a routine because I feel like I’m missing out on a lot, and many of my regrets stem from missing out on a lot in the past! I just want to live life to the fullest and I don’t know if I ever truly have.

I need to stop being complacent. I just need to push myself.

Videos I Posted This Week:

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Tarqaron All-Stars 2 Reunion Special ft. Rusty
Cruella Review – Tarqaron ft. Rusty
Survivor: Vanuatu Ep. 6 Reaction (Finding Cracks) – Tarqaron
Puss in Boots Review – Tarqaron
Intro to the TRUE Gents Challenge 2021 – Tarqaron ft. Ryan

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

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Man, people are capable of some pretty horrible stuff, huh? I’ve been watching videos on some combination of outrageous and vile crimes this past week and even though I get hooked on those kinds of videos every now and then, I still find humans’ fascination with the topic of horrific crimes so hard to wrap my head around. Some of the stuff I’ve watched/read about is really disturbing and horrible to hear about, and yet I continue to look into new stories. I’m not sure what it is exactly that brings people back to these awful real-life horror stories time and time again but damn does it really put you in a different headspace for a while. In a sense it makes you appreciate simple things like the comfort of your own home just a bit more. I don’t know, kind of random, but I JUST watched some episodes of the show Panic 9-1-1 before writing this, so it’s top of mind for me right now.

Anyways, on to more of this week. I’ve fallen a bit behind on editing for Tarqaron and haven’t recorded any videos for my channel in a while but that’s alright. I think the biggest thing I’ve taken away from this week is that I had really forgotten how good it feels to be active. I’ve been working on going outside and playing basketball with my friend more regularly and I’ve found that to be refreshing, for sure. Honestly, as much as I’ve always been the nerd whose hobbies largely revolve around sitting inside, I’ve always had a love for doing things outdoors, especially with good company. Basketball and frisbee almost never get old. And in an ideal world I’d have my own little spot to spend time outside every day if I could. It’s well into the night at this point and I would’ve opted to type this outside if not for the fact that it’s raining right now. As sad as it sounds, it has literally been years since going outside and being active in any way, shape or form were a part of my routine at all. I guess it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf again.

That being said, I still love me some nerdy indoor activities, and I’ve been sorely lacking in that department as well. In my ideal world, I’d have a schedule that perfectly balances video-making time, outdoors time, and movie/show/game time mixed with time to spend with friends. Right now I just feel like so much of my days are going to waste, but getting back to some regularly-scheduled outdoors time is definitely a step in the right direction. If I could fully fix my sleep schedule in accordance with that it would definitely help matters as well. If anyone ever wants to play some basketball or frisbee with me, I’ll pretty much always be down.

Videos I Posted This Week:

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Survivor: Vanuatu – Episode 5 (Bubba Blunders) | Tarqaron Reaction
Shrek Forever After | Tarqaron Review (w/ Spoilers)

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

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