Potential

It’s weeks like these that are tough to write about because I realize that I haven’t done anything really notable. I didn’t even really play any video games or watch anything either. Most of my free time has been spent either editing videos or watching a lot of YouTube. But I’m doing my best not to skip any weeks of writing this blog because that in itself can be a slippery slope that causes me to slack off and next thing I know I’m not doing any blog posts anymore. And since I’m trying to be as authentic as possible with this blog, weeks like these are also important because the reality is that we all have boring weeks for sure. And if you’re dealing with depression, uneventful weeks can definitely have an effect on that as well. All that being said, it’s really not that dramatic. Just didn’t do much. And there are definitely some things I look forward to hopefully doing next week that will make that week much better. But we’ll see!

I will say that one thing which frustrated me this week and has frustrated me often in the past is just being setback in doing what I want to do with video-making because of technical issues. I think I will be truly happy when one day I have a PC with enough processing power and high enough specs that I don’t have to worry about the issues I’m dealing with now and having to compromise quality in order to even be able to record on my current laptop, even after having it fixed. I also would love a really nice office space to work out of for all of my creative projects. So those are things to work towards, I guess, but it’s frustrating to imagine how much better off I would be by now if I had these things already in place. It just feels like I’m always playing catch-up and one issue after another prevents me from reaching my true potential in this creative space. I truly believe I am worth so much more than my current position in life reflects so I just have to work towards making that my reality.

I guess that is something I don’t verbalize enough, the fact that I do believe I have a lot of potential. So much of my “brand” is self-deprecation mixed with some awkwardness and dry humor, so as much as I have spent time embracing my flaws in that way, I should probably spend more time talking myself up as well. At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize that I love to entertain and make people laugh. While I’m definitely not perfect, I am confident that I deserve more. So here’s to not wasting my potential. Hopefully I’ll have some really nice things to talk about soon.