Woof, I am exhausted. I can almost immediately feel the effect of pretty much doubling my workload and I feel like my free time is even more minimal than it was, but I guess that’s all part of why I need to work on striking a balance like I mentioned before. That being said, this tired feeling is not too unfamiliar to me because I used to put out daily videos when I just had my solo YouTube channel and even though I enjoyed it, it definitely could be draining at times. I’d often find myself getting home from work and then being too exhausted to do anything really productive. So I have that feeling coming over me again and that’s the kind of thing I’d really like to avoid if possible. I’d like to work on being more energized and healthy in general, and that’s where striking a balance can be challenging since so much of what I do with my free time honestly involves just sitting inside. But again, and I know I’ll be saying this a lot, but I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have even a platform (albeit small) to express myself. So I’ll work on finding that balance.
On an unrelated note, I still deal with moments of extreme sadness that just kind of spring on me from time to time. I guess that’s a given when you are depressed, though. That feeling is never really a gone, it just gets tucked away from time to time. It’s not always logical. I could be having a great time and then one stray thought enters my head and my mood crashes from it. In my very first blog I go into where a lot of my depression comes from, but it can mostly be boiled down to loneliness. I’ve just always struggled with a feeling of loneliness, and even when I find myself surrounded by more friends and supportive people, I struggle with feeling like I don’t quite belong. I’m unfortunately on a bit of a time crunch right now, but I’d definitely like to take some time and go more in-depth on some subjects like this, either on this blog or maybe even in a dedicated video. I feel like it can be really helpful just to hear someone else’s experiences with depression from time to time and I feel relatively comfortable opening up about it, so I will try to do so as soon as I can. Then again, I also have plenty of fun ideas I’d like to get around to as well! So we’ll see how I can mix it in with everything else.
Videos I Posted This Week:
Taking Random BuzzFeed Quizzes | Tarqaron Discussion ft. Rusty
Survivor: All-Stars – Episode 18 (America’s Tribal Council) | Tarqaron Reaction
BLACKPINK: Light Up the Sky | Tarqaron Review
Watching my first reaction to Taeyeon 5 years later
Revisiting Boombayah by Blackpink