CL is still a badass (Spicy reaction)

Music (Zach), Videos

First time listening to Pentatonix’s version of Wonderful Christmastime

Music (Zach), Pentatonix, Reactions, Videos

Travis Scott should be held responsible

Music (Zach), Videos

It’s been a long long time since I’ve gone through a new Pentatonix album (reaction)

Music (Zach), Pentatonix, Reactions, Videos

The Beauty of Gift-Giving

Blog

Something I particularly like about this time of year is that it is the season of giving, an opportunity to show love and appreciation for those you care about in different ways. There’s something about gift-giving that I’ve grown to love so much over the years. What’s interesting is that I recently did the lil love languages quiz and receiving gifts was on the lower end of the spectrum for me, in terms of my love languages. But I especially like putting together thoughtful gifts for people that I care about, I guess that receiving gifts is less important to me these days. But hey, it is always really touching to receive an especially thoughtful gift. I’ll never deny that that is a good feeling as well. As much as it can be nice to give a gift that someone really wanted and asked for in advance, I always find it a lot more rewarding to think outside the box and try to get something that they might not expect but that they would really appreciate, something with a little thought put into it. I love nice gestures like that.

So we’re right in the thick of when I should already be figuring out gifts, but as always it really snuck up on me. Every year I always say that I will figure it out well ahead of time, but of course that never really pans out. I still have yet to even sit down and list out all of the things I need to get, let alone actually start on getting them. I totally get why some people aren’t a fan of the whole gift-giving process because it can be a stressful experience for them, but to me it is worth it just to show some appreciation and also to see the reactions when they open the gifts. On a personal level I just love the thoughtfulness that can go into the process if you really care to personalize the gifts according to the individual. It’s fun to brainstorm different ideas of what would be a nice sign of appreciation, even if it’s just a fun gag gift. Of course money is always an issue and it especially is this year since I’m making some hefty car payments (and more monthly payments than ever, really), but I’ll make it work one way or another.

I’m not a materialistic person, I don’t really care about getting the newest, shiniest things. To me the beauty of gift-giving comes in what it represents. It’s just a heartwarming representation of your appreciation for someone you love, not defined by a dollar amount but by the thought and heart put into it. And as the emotional sack of shit that I am now, it’ll probably particularly resonate with me this year. So cheers to the holiday season, I really ought to get to work on making these gift ideas a reality sooner rather than later.

Videos I Posted This Week:

Introducing Our Next Movie Review Series! – Tarqaron

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

Survivor 41 (tv series)
The Naked Gun (film)

I am haunted by this Olivia Rodrigo song (good 4 u)

Music (Zach), Videos

Pentatonix’s cover of The Prayer might have broken me (reaction)

Music (Zach), Pentatonix, Reactions, Videos

I just called to say I love you, Pentatonix (reaction)

Music (Zach), Pentatonix, Reactions, Videos

Just Writing

Blog

Everything in life is so damn uncertain. I constantly second-guess myself because I feel like as soon as I get anything resembling happiness it gets ripped away from me, almost like a constant reality check. Like, oh, you thought you were gonna be happy now? nah, now’s not the time and it makes me doubt if I’ll ever truly be happy. Some things I feel so damn sure of and then something turns them on their head in the next instant. One moment I think I’ve finally found the answer and in the next it becomes another symptom of my sadness. I’m not much of a poet but I guess when you just speak from the heart without much of a plan it can give off that vibe. I’m always racking my brain until the eleventh hour about what to write for these blogs but I guess sometimes I should just type and see where it takes me. I feel like I had this very same epiphany many moons ago when I wrote one of the blogs just like this, by writing whatever was on my mind without stressing each little word and how everything was phrased. But since then maybe I’ve lost that a little, and in a sense I’ve given myself less freedom with these blogs than I should by feeling like each one should fit into a nice presentable topic or take on a particular theme.

This blog was always meant to be an outlet for me to express my feelings and thoughts in an open and authentic way. The only problem is that a lot of what is top of mind for me lately is deeply personal, and not exactly what I would or should be talking about on this public website, at least not any time soon. Not that it’s bad or anything, but more that it pertains to specific people and situations which are on-going and not just things of the past. This is something I mentioned way back when I started this blog, that I would never talk about specific people or anything that would feel like an invasion of privacy because no one is consenting to be talked about publicly in this way just by associating themselves with me. So as much as the blog has been liberating for me, it is obviously still very limited in that I can’t just talk about anything in my life because of course it would have real-life ramifications or affect other people rather than just myself. So what’s the solution there, could I do some private writing about my deepest and more personal thoughts? I mean yeah, sure, but when would I realistically have the time for that? I am already struggling to find the time for everything from what I need to do to what I want to do, between all of my existing responsibilities/obligations. So as much as additional, private writing would probably be beneficial for me, I don’t know if it’s realistic to do so right now.

So for now I’ve gotta keep some thoughts bottled-up, which of course is a bummer and almost the antithesis to this blog, but it’s just what I’ve gotta do. What’s worse is that I wish I could just shout these thoughts for the whole world to hear, but I simply can’t. It’s a frustrating position to be in, but one that everyone will be in at some point or another. Maybe you’ll read these thoughts in a damn book years down the road.

So for now I’m just dealing with a lot emotionally/mentally. I wish things could be different, I wish I could be stronger in the face of these things, but here I am. Big crybaby energy. But that’s just another part of coming to terms with who I really am. My heart has felt heavy so often recently, I’m just trying to keep myself mentally above ground as much as I can at this point. I feel like the next few months of my life will be an especially trying time for me, but I have to make the best of it and hopefully come out stronger on the other side. I’m fully prepared for lots of ups and downs.