Complacency

Blog

Oof, I’m rushing to get this blog out in time yet again, but this time I’m outside for it! And what nice weather it is for it, even at 11:30 at night. Ever since I’ve gotten that “active” bug again, I’ve taken pretty much any excuse to go outside that I can get. The only thing stopping me from doing more videos outside is the onslaught of bugs in the particular area I have to do them in. If I could find a local peaceful area that I could set up in real quick to do some nice relaxing videos that would be great. I really just need a place where I can set my laptop and lil tripod and I’ll be set. You might have noticed nothing but Tarqaron videos the past couple of weeks and no videos on my solo channel, and that certainly hasn’t gone unnoticed by me. The reality of the situation is that I already coop myself up for a few hours to do Tarqaron videos on my day off, and since I’m not really able to run air conditioning while doing videos because of the obnoxious background noise, I’d just rather not sweat in a small space for longer than I have to. That’s why outside would be my preferred area for filming videos whenever possible, so that I can at least be out in the fresh air and heat rather than sitting in a small, hot room. So once I iron out these pesky logistics of making videos, I’ll be golden. In the mean time there has been no shortage of videos really, they’ve all just been in the Tarqaron format.

As much as I appreciate the small victories like breathing some fresh air, I continue to struggle with feeling like a failure and having regrets about many aspects of my life. As long as I remain complacent as I have been in many ways, I think I’ll continue to feel this way in one way or another. Complacency can really bog you down, and for someone like me who is most happy when I can express my creativity, complacency is a true killer. The monotonous, uncreative elements of my life wear on me and can be really draining at times. I enjoy the fun little activities and video things I do each week, and being around people I enjoy spending time with, but I feel like I could use a major shake-up in my life to spice things up a bit. There’s a weird paradox where I want to establish more of a routine along with a consistent sleeping schedule, but I also don’t want to be stuck in too much of a routine because I feel like I’m missing out on a lot, and many of my regrets stem from missing out on a lot in the past! I just want to live life to the fullest and I don’t know if I ever truly have.

I need to stop being complacent. I just need to push myself.

Videos I Posted This Week:

Tarqaron All-Stars 2 Reunion Special ft. Rusty
Cruella Review – Tarqaron ft. Rusty
Survivor: Vanuatu Ep. 6 Reaction (Finding Cracks) – Tarqaron
Puss in Boots Review – Tarqaron
Intro to the TRUE Gents Challenge 2021 – Tarqaron ft. Ryan

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

Us the Duo – No Matter Where You Are (Album)

Intro to the TRUE Gents Challenge 2021 – Tarqaron ft. Ryan

Gents Challenges, Tarqaron

Puss in Boots Review – Tarqaron

Film (Tarqaron), Reviews, Shrek, Tarqaron

Survivor: Vanuatu Ep. 6 Reaction (Finding Cracks) – Tarqaron

Survivor, Survivor: Vanuatu, Tarqaron

Discussion:

Reaction Highlights:

Cruella Review – Tarqaron ft. Rusty

Film (Tarqaron), Reviews, Tarqaron

Tarqaron All-Stars 2 Reunion Special ft. Rusty

Original Series, Tarqaron, Tarqaron All-Stars

A Breath of Fresh Air

Blog

Man, people are capable of some pretty horrible stuff, huh? I’ve been watching videos on some combination of outrageous and vile crimes this past week and even though I get hooked on those kinds of videos every now and then, I still find humans’ fascination with the topic of horrific crimes so hard to wrap my head around. Some of the stuff I’ve watched/read about is really disturbing and horrible to hear about, and yet I continue to look into new stories. I’m not sure what it is exactly that brings people back to these awful real-life horror stories time and time again but damn does it really put you in a different headspace for a while. In a sense it makes you appreciate simple things like the comfort of your own home just a bit more. I don’t know, kind of random, but I JUST watched some episodes of the show Panic 9-1-1 before writing this, so it’s top of mind for me right now.

Anyways, on to more of this week. I’ve fallen a bit behind on editing for Tarqaron and haven’t recorded any videos for my channel in a while but that’s alright. I think the biggest thing I’ve taken away from this week is that I had really forgotten how good it feels to be active. I’ve been working on going outside and playing basketball with my friend more regularly and I’ve found that to be refreshing, for sure. Honestly, as much as I’ve always been the nerd whose hobbies largely revolve around sitting inside, I’ve always had a love for doing things outdoors, especially with good company. Basketball and frisbee almost never get old. And in an ideal world I’d have my own little spot to spend time outside every day if I could. It’s well into the night at this point and I would’ve opted to type this outside if not for the fact that it’s raining right now. As sad as it sounds, it has literally been years since going outside and being active in any way, shape or form were a part of my routine at all. I guess it’s time for me to turn over a new leaf again.

That being said, I still love me some nerdy indoor activities, and I’ve been sorely lacking in that department as well. In my ideal world, I’d have a schedule that perfectly balances video-making time, outdoors time, and movie/show/game time mixed with time to spend with friends. Right now I just feel like so much of my days are going to waste, but getting back to some regularly-scheduled outdoors time is definitely a step in the right direction. If I could fully fix my sleep schedule in accordance with that it would definitely help matters as well. If anyone ever wants to play some basketball or frisbee with me, I’ll pretty much always be down.

Videos I Posted This Week:

Survivor: Vanuatu – Episode 5 (Bubba Blunders) | Tarqaron Reaction
Shrek Forever After | Tarqaron Review (w/ Spoilers)

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

Shrek Forever After | Tarqaron Review (w/ Spoilers)

Film (Tarqaron), Reviews, Shrek, Tarqaron

Survivor: Vanuatu – Episode 5 (Bubba Blunder) | Tarqaron Reaction

Survivor, Survivor: Vanuatu, Tarqaron

Discussion:

Reaction Highlights:

Rushing

Blog

Oh jeez it’s crunch time oh jeez. I’m rushing to see if there’s any way I could possibly get this out in time because I just realized, at literally the last hour, that it is Friday and I don’t want to break my streak if I can avoid it. So hoo boy, here come some rushed thoughts. Looks like I won’t be able to come through on that promise from last week of coming up with a more focused and well-thought out topic ahead of time. Whoops! Sorry about that. Guess I’m just embracing the crazy at this point. Why do I feel the need to be so serious in these blogs every week, anyway? I guess something about writing so bluntly about what’s going on with me mentally doesn’t lend itself to the lightest of tones, but if you didn’t know me and just read these blogs you would think I am just a miserable person with nothing going for myself, wouldn’t you?

And hey, that’s only a minor facet of my personality. Really, around my friends I can be pretty wacky and I love to make people laugh. I don’t think you’d get that impression at all from my blogs. Maybe this is the secret sauce my blogs have been missing all this time, approaching them in a more unpredictable manner and throwing caution to the wind. Not getting hung up on each sentence and stressing over the minutia of certain phrasing and what not. A true typing-whatever-I’m-thinking style in approach. This could be quite liberating, actually. Though I’m still aware that there are certain topics I’d like to cover which should be handled with a bit more thought and will keep that in mind. I’ve never really typed in such a freeform way, so it’s worth a shot for sure.

Bringing it back to my personality and how it is/isn’t reflected in my writing style here… back in grade school I made a bit of a name for myself for writing comedic fictional stories for creative writing assignments in class. I’ve kind of lost that since then, in terms of writing for sure, but I still love to make people laugh whenever I can. I just haven’t channeled it into my writing in a while. In my public speaking class in college I did comedic, semi-improvised speeches which was a new way of using that same kind of energy, and that was refreshing for sure. A class which I always dreaded having to take ended up making up some of the highlights of my college experience. Unexpected, for sure. I’d like to elaborate a bit on one of those highlights in a future segment I’d like to incorporate, either in writing or video form. More on that in the future!

Well wow, this was really short but it was a thrill. This is some of the most fun I’ve had in a while with this so I’d definitely like to bring this same kind of energy forward, maybe even with some of the more serious topics. We’ll see! But I’d definitely like to at least channel this energy into blogs when I’ve given myself more time to let my thoughts flow rather than cram it all into a short timeframe (though this was fun). I’ve been getting to know some great people and I appreciate the great people I’ve gotten to spend time with this week! Even got out and played some basketball for the first time in years! Say YES to physical activity woohoo! I’m hoping to make that a weekly thing as well, that was a blast. As much as it may seem like it, I’m not just a couch potato. I have LAYERS, like ogres and onions and all that. God bless Shrek.