It feels a little weird being fully back in the swing of things with my solo channel, but I’m glad to be back at it! It’s been liberating being able to talk about such a wide variety of things through these different outlets and now I can’t imagine it any other way. It is really crazy looking at the list of videos I posted this week across two channels since this is the most output of content I’ve had pretty much ever. So while it is liberating to have these outlets, it’s also taking up a large majority of my free time so it will be challenging in that regard but I’m excited to challenge myself moving forward. I have pretty much a constant queue of videos to edit so it can be overwhelming but I definitely prefer that to having nothing queued up.

I had some really low moments this week where I found myself feeling like I was lost, similar to how I felt in the beginning of the year when I started this blog. I experience some really low lows sometimes, no doubt about it. And unfortunately I’ll probably be feeling lows like that at some point each week for the foreseeable future. But as annoying as it is to keep putting it out there in every blog, I do want to be as transparent as possible. All I can do is work towards a time when I can hopefully have nothing negative to say in at least one of these blogs. I cannot express enough how much I appreciate everyone who continues to be a positive force in my life, and everyone who continues to show me true kindness through both the good and the bad times. It’s thanks to these people that I am able to keep my head above water, along with the joy I get out of making videos/content. I am far from where I want to be, but I’m a lot better off than I could have been had I not had these positive forces in my life.

I feel bad putting out such short blogs, but to be frank my life isn’t actually all that exciting at the moment, so I feel like this is more palatable than going through excruciating detail about the monotony. But these weekly blogs serve as a reminder of where I’m at versus where I want to be, so they give me things to work towards while also being able to express my thought process and check in mentally. So in that way I am definitely grateful to this blog as a very different outlet for me! That being said, although most of my videos are more light-hearted in tone, I definitely have some ideas for more serious/vulnerable topics to go into on video as well, which might be worth exploring in the future. I have a lot of ideas I’m always bouncing in general, so stay tuned!

Videos I Posted This Week:

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Our February/March 2021 Favorites! | Tarqaron Discussion
Two years later, I’m still mad about Game of Thrones
Survivor: All-Stars – Episode 16 (FINALE!) | Tarqaron Reaction
Grace VanderWaal’s new style
Wolf vs. Bear | Tarqaron Review ft. Rusty
Stardew Valley is a gem
Survivor: All-Stars – Episode 17 (Reunion) | Tarqaron Reaction
Reacting to Y by Citizen Queen

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

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Over the last few months, I’ve lost friends but I’ve also gained friends. I’ve experienced some of my lowest lows but have also been given a lot of kindness and support. I know I’ve mentioned this before and it makes sense that I inevitably will repeat myself a lot as I move into double digits of blogs now, but I just want to reiterate that this year has given me a newfound appreciation for any small acts of kindness. It’s so easy to take people’s kindness for granted, but once you experience the polar opposite from people in your life it makes you appreciate that kindness much more. So more than ever I find myself taking the time to appreciate whenever anyone extends an olive branch to check in on me, when someone leaves a nice comment or gives me a nice compliment. Not that I didn’t appreciate these things before, but they just mean even more to me now. It’s crazy how even something as insignificant as someone who I haven’t spoken to in ages liking a post of mine can really be uplifting. A simple act of kindness, even just one click to show your support for someone, can go a long way.

All that being said, obviously a highlight for me this week was uploading videos on my solo channel for the first time in over a year. I never intended to take such a long break, and I never really took a break from videos since I was still uploading on Tarqaron through all that time. They were just different videos. And I’ve put so many years and hundreds of videos into my solo channel so it feels weird to have left it inactive for so long. But at the same time I’m excited to be back to it. Though I will have a lot more on my plate since I have to do the work for two channels now instead of one, my goal is to put less pressure on myself for my solo channel. Whereas before I was focused on primarily reaction-based videos and as a result would have lists of videos that I felt like I needed to get done on any given week so that I wouldn’t fall too far behind, I’m trying to have a more lax approach this time around where I can more freely just kind of talk about whatever I want each week without having to check things off. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a ton of things I want to do for the channel, but I’ll just be taking a more laid-back approach, especially considering how much time it requires for me to edit and post for Tarqaron alone. And definitely nothing is set in stone. I said that reactions aren’t my focus anymore and that’s true, but that doesn’t mean that I’m opposed to ever doing them. I’m really just feeling things out and seeing where I want to go with it. It’ll take some time to get used to recording videos in this style again as well, so forgive me if they aren’t the best videos I’ve ever put out.

I’m excited to see where things will go from here because I’m not even sure myself. It is definitely refreshing, between this blog, the two channels, and anything else I work on, to have all of these creative outlets to pour myself into. I keep bringing up this topic of “keeping busy” but it really is true. It will be a challenge to juggle it all with nearly daily posts at this point but I think it will help to keep me sane and I’m game to see where it takes me.

Videos I Posted This Week:

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Survivor: All-Stars – Episode 15 (Pony Ride’s Over) | Tarqaron Reaction
Chance Time – Spin #5 (Paramount Plus) | Tarqaron ft. Rusty
Conclusion to the Gents Challenge 2021 | Tarqaron Discussion ft. Rusty
I’m back
I think I’m in love (and her name is Due Lipa)

Things I Enjoyed This Week:

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